Worry Wart

Today I made the mistake of watching A Baby Story

Why is it a mistake you may ask?

Not because a woman laid on a table thriving in pain for hours, asked for an epidural, and it was too late to get one before having to push her 9 pound baby out with no drugs whatsoever...

No. That doesn't scare me.

Much. 

What made it a mistake was that the last episode that was on for the day was about a husband and wife having their second child, only this child would "surprise everyone".

Once the baby was born and on the little table that they throw babies on to do quick exams, the father noticed something wrong with the baby's left hand.  

This baby was born with no fingers on his left hand.

The ultrasounds hadn't picked up on this, so in the moments that should be nothing but joyful for parents, they were shocked and scared that their new baby was born with only one functional hand. 

I honestly can't imagine being in that moment. You're so happy to have your baby, safe and in your arms, but at the same time you start to think about the struggles they're going to have in their life.

They determined that the baby was born this way because of his position in the uterus. Apparently his hand was up against the uterine wall, and wasn't given the space to develop fingers in that hand.

I haven't stopped trying to get Baby to move/somersault/roll ever since.

So on top of that, we had our first lamaze class a week ago, (the second one is tomorrow night) and in the class we talked about the position of the placenta and if it's covering the cervix, there is no possible way to have a natural child birth...

Needless to say, I'm a worried Momma right now and the doctor is not going to like me very much tomorrow morning.

I've already been told that we won't get another ultrasound. But now I want to know:

 How do we know if our baby is growing correctly? 

How do we know his size?

Do we know the position of the placenta? (Because if it's not in the right place, I want to know ahead of time that I'm going to have to get cut open)

Can the doctor tell his position just by feeling me? 

What does he look like?!

At our 20 week ultrasound he was facing my spine, so the only picture we got was what they were able to pull through his head... or something like that. 

yeah. that's it. I cherish this picture SO much, but is it too much to ask to get another one?!

You all probably think I'm crazy or a terrible person now. 

Oh well.

I've procrastinated folding laundry long enough now. 

I'll update again tomorrow after our appointment. 

Hope I didn't bore you too much.