One year ago today...

Today is an emotional day for me.

A year ago today, I peed on 3 of those magical sticks and found out I was pregnant.

The overwhelming shock was so intense, I found myself bawling my eyes out, alone, and wondering how I'd tell Dean.

You must understand that I DO indeed know how babies are made, and yes more pre-cautions could have been had, but this was God's plan for us.

You also need to understand my mind set at this point in my life. I was 23 days away from my wedding. I had plans to finish college in the near future, and then have children shortly after. I had just been out with my best friend celebrating her 21st birthday two days before taking the test (aka: a night of heavy drinking), I had been without health insurance for about 3 years and I knew that my future and all my plans were changing right before my eyes.

After collecting myself enough to speak, I called Dean, told him I needed to talk to him in person (he was at work) and proceeded to drive to meet him there.

Once we were locked in a small car together, through my tears, I told him I was pregnant. Dean was in shock just as I thought he would be. He left work early to come home with me, and after a short drive, I met my soon-to-be husband back at our house and he.was.excited. Giddy. Thrilled even. (It took me a little longer to get to this point, I'll be honest).

We had a small lunch and Dean decided he couldn't keep it a secret so we called our parents (who were beyond thrilled) and a few close friends. We felt being able to share it with just a few people at this point was heathy, and we would let the rest of the world know after the wedding and after a doctor appointment.

It's crazy that I can still remember that day just like it was yesterday. But it is rather important. That day I knew I was going to be someone's Mom. That I was going to have a child; to raise and love unconditionally.

When I checked on my boy last night before I went to bed, I stuck around just a little longer. Taking in his peaceful sleeping. His innocence. The miracle that Dean and I made, and I knew was coming to the world a year ago.

I love that boy more than I ever thought I could love a person. And I am so thankful that this day will forever mean something to me.